so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
