Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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