margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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