My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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