someone get that fucking seahorse.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize