First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
