Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
