Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
