we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
