He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
