i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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