they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
