Barsexuality is the new black.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
