never play flip cup with pint glasses
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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