ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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