i permit you to call me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just forgot I was standing up.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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