ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
