So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
