he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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