yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
