I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
