My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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