Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
