I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
