my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
