What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
