Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
