Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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