This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
