I think my vagina is haunted
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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