Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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