I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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