She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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