You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
