i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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