i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
