I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
