i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
