My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
