At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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