I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
