He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
