I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
