Your tits are I can't wait for
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
