Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
