So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
