Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
