I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
