I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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