If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
