do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I still have a little drunk in my system
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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