where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
