Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
