I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
